Bucky Plushy
From Spreadsheets to Street Cred
Meet Bucky—the scrappy problem-solver who looked at Amazon's shopping bots and said, "Not on my watch."
Once a mild-mannered operations nerd who just wanted merchants to keep their customers, Bucky discovered that sometimes the best solutions aren't found in a dashboard—they're found in a revolution. Now he's leading the charge against the monopolies, one postcard at a time.
Product Details:
- 4" of pure rebellious cuddles
- Super-soft plush exterior (because even revolutionaries need comfort)
Why You Need Bucky:
- Desk companion for late-night strategy sessions
- Moral support when the bots come knocking
- Physical reminder that small merchants can fight back
- Makes an excellent co-pilot for your rebellion
The Bucky Promise:
He may be soft on the outside, but he's tough on monopolies. Every Bucky plushie ships with a QR code linking to exclusive rebellion support—because if you need to move 💩, you are going to need a bucket.
Is this for you?
This offer is built for established Shopify brands doing $5M+ in annual revenue with technical problems that are costing real money. If you're at that level and nobody else has been able to fix it — this is exactly what we built this for.
What's included
- Reviewed by an engineer who's solved problems other agencies couldn't
- Honest assessment — including what others got wrong and why
- A clear path forward, not a vague proposal
- No contracts, no pressure — if $1 gets you unstuck, that's a win
How it works
Three steps to get started
Share your problem. We solve it. Simple.
Tell us what nobody else could fix
Describe the problem, what you've tried, and where others hit a wall. The harder, the better.
We dig in
An engineer with 25 years of experience reviews your problem. Not a sales rep. Not a chatbot.
You get a real answer
Either we solve it, or we give you a concrete plan. No runaround, no "it depends."
What you get
Why stores come to us last
After everyone else said no, here's what you get for $1.
Direct access to engineers
You talk to the people who build solutions, not account managers reading scripts.
We've seen harder
After 500+ stores and 25 years, we've solved problems other devs said were impossible.
Straight answers, fast
No discovery calls. No SOWs to review. You get clarity in days, not weeks.
Zero obligation
If $1 is all you ever spend with us, that's fine. No follow-up campaigns. No guilt.
Common questions
Straight answers
Nobody else could solve it. Isn't it worth $1 to find out if we can?
One problem. One dollar. One honest answer.